When people think of sexual compatibility, they often think about how often they’re having sex. Many people worry they’re incompatible because one person wants sex more than the other.
But this is only one piece of the puzzle. Overcoming differences in desire levels is possible once you start to focus on the quality of your sexual and intimate interactions with one another.
This imbalance is inevitable, but manageable if you can take the focus off of frequency alone. Stop counting how many times you’ve had sex this week (or this month) and focus instead on what you’re doing to maintain a sexual connection. Flirt, sext, tease and figure out what gets your partner all riled up. The frequency component will fall into place more naturally as you take the pressure off yourselves.
Studies have shown that having a satisfying sex life can lead to a happier relationship, meaning that for many, being compatible sexually is a big thing, even a relationship dealbreaker.
It's one of the big questions people ask themselves when they get into a new relationship - will we be sexually compatible? But what exactly is sexual compatibility in the first place?
Because sexual compatibility can't really be clearly defined, many working relationships inevitably stumble upon a level of so-called incompatibility, and sexologist Dr Timaree Schmit suggests you seek out the common ground between each of your sexual preferences, desires etc. This requires partners to actively communicate their own sexual needs to their partner, assuming, of course, that each partner really does know what they want.
Dr Timaree Schmit offers further advice for couples in longer term relationships where sexual desire might wane with time, suggesting that just as your relationship might evolve over time, it's important that you're both aware that your sex life will too. It's therefore important to be open to new ways of making love and being ready to explore that with each other. She adds that "approaching sex as a loving and collaborative endeavour where the people involved serve the relationship itself as a more important entity than either individual alone," is a good way to ensure that your sexual compatibility remains at a satisfying level.
Jessica O'Reilly is a sought-after sexologist with a PhD in human sexuality, suggests that simply perceiving yourselves as sexually compatible leads to greater sexual satisfaction than sharing the same sexual preferences. So don’t fret if you don’t share your partner’s love of hair-pulling and they just don’t seem to understand your foot fetish. You can make it work despite your differences.
Source: lifestyle.iafrica.com | ivillage.ca